This just may be the most important update in the history of news media.
Police Update Meats Found in Accused Shoplifter’s Pants
Nathan Hardy, 35, is accused of shoplifting. Store employees said he tried to walk out of the grocery store without paying for items that he had stuffed into his pockets. Those items included two lobster tails in his front pockets, two bags of jumbo shrimp, and a pork loin, which was stuffed into his waist band.
Police originally reported that the lobsters were whole, live lobsters.
Oh thank god, I’ve been so concerned about this guy.
